Resume

I need a job. Here is my resume. Spread the word!

SUMMARY

All around good guy who has never been to prison.

EDUCATION

 Harvard University

BA in Government — 2009

Coursework included calculus and economics.

I also spent time using clay to mold likenesses of ancient artifacts, learning about how Odysseus’ knowledge of his own mortality influenced his actions, and writing 8 page essays on 36 word poems. The real world applications are endless!

WORK EXPERIENCE

Glorified Telemarketer, Lawyers on Demand

Los Angeles, CA — For roughly 1 month in the summer of 2006, I cold called people and tried to get them to sign up for some lawer-y service.

       Accomplishments

  • Displayed an unparalleled go getter attitude. One day I spent an entire afternoon dialing up contacts and convincing them to call into a local radio station, K Earth 101, to request that they play the song “Build Me Up Buttercup” by The Foundations.
  • I had a $10 bet with a coworker that the song would get a spin before 4 PM. I almost felt bad for roping her into the bet. Not only had this station been playing the song like it was a classic beatles record on the day after Lennon got shot, but I was begging my friends and family to call up and ask for it.
  • The DJ didn’t play it. I learned a lot about anger management. Continue reading “Resume”

Self Promotion (Or Lack Thereof)

A couple of weeks ago I had a conversation with my agent. He said that he was talking to some teams in Italy. I got very excited. (I recently gained Italian citizenship.) Then he said that they wanted to see some film. Maybe a highlight tape. I was instantly crestfallen.

It hit me all at once that I was wildly unprepared to fulfill that request. My most recent highlight tape was from college. I sent that anyway, hoping that the all the footage of Jeremy Lin might serve as an intriguing distraction while I scrambled to figure out what I was going to do.

Continue reading “Self Promotion (Or Lack Thereof)”

Start of Year 3 in Israel

I have arrived in Israel for the 3rd straight year. If you had told me in 2005 that upon graduating college I would spend 27 of the next 36 months in Israel I would have never believed it. Yet here I am, on a  team called Beer Yaakov. The city is right outside of Tel Aviv and is very close to all sorts of interesting places. That does not matter to me as much as it normally would because I am car-less this year. Yes, my time in Haifa was so disastrous that I could not even sign a contract that included a vehicle. So it goes. The silver lining is that I won’t have to pay for gas anymore, which was where like half my paychecks went last year. Continue reading “Start of Year 3 in Israel”

Thoughts on Conspiracies, Movies and Ants

-We are down 0-1 in our best of 5 final four series against Meggido, our arch nemesis.  This series is more important than the potential finals because the top 2 teams both get to move up to the first division next year.  The two times we met in the regular season they beat us by a combined 50 points.  We were able to stay close the whole game this time, getting as close as 3 with about 3 minutes left.  My game was a little up and down, but I was proud of my effort overall, and I finally found my missing 3 point stroke.  Next game is at home on National TV, so our 500 fans should be rockin and rollin. Continue reading “Thoughts on Conspiracies, Movies and Ants”