I need a job. Here is my resume. Spread the word!


All around good guy who has never been to prison.


 Harvard University

BA in Government — 2009

Coursework included calculus and economics.

I also spent time using clay to mold likenesses of ancient artifacts, learning about how Odysseus’ knowledge of his own mortality influenced his actions, and writing 8 page essays on 36 word poems. The real world applications are endless!


Glorified Telemarketer, Lawyers on Demand

Los Angeles, CA — For roughly 1 month in the summer of 2006, I cold called people and tried to get them to sign up for some lawer-y service.


  • Displayed an unparalleled go getter attitude. One day I spent an entire afternoon dialing up contacts and convincing them to call into a local radio station, K Earth 101, to request that they play the song “Build Me Up Buttercup” by The Foundations.
  • I had a $10 bet with a coworker that the song would get a spin before 4 PM. I almost felt bad for roping her into the bet. Not only had this station been playing the song like it was a classic beatles record on the day after Lennon got shot, but I was begging my friends and family to call up and ask for it.
  • The DJ didn’t play it. I learned a lot about anger management. Continue reading “Resume”